AWKWARD.......

Me???? Sometimes, not always…well, there was that time in High School.   Oh and speaking of High School.   I had the pleasure of producing the publicity and advertising gallery for MTV’s critically acclaimed show “AWKWARD.”   I agree, it’s a must see!  AWKWARD has something for everyone and believe you me not much has changed since I was in High School (NOOOO I will not share the year…. why you gotta be so nosey).  Anyway, you have your popular girls, the cute boys, and the outcasts who go unnoticed by both. The day of the photo shoot we had so much fun on set, even when the skin head crashed the set and began calling me names…wow…I felt like I was in High School all over…THIS time I won ;-).    The cast & crew were amazing! We were shooting all day in a park and at Smashbox Studios in West Hollywood.  Elisabeth Caren, the photographer, if I do say so myself … WORKED the shoot, BIG TIME..…I’m looking forward to working with her again.  The only thing that I’m bummed that I didn’t do was to put on the extra cheerleading outfit!  What?  Don’t judge me. Oh, ya, back to me and my high school days.   One night after a football game a few of us stayed behind to “hang out” (because my friends are parents I will not be able to tell you what we were doing or who I was with….BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE…..and I WILL tell your kids one day….(insert evil laugh here).  We were just high school kids trying to fit in.  After a few hours of “hanging out” I wanted to show everyone my “Tarzan” skills.  I climbed up on the viewing platform, grabbed the ropes from the flagpole and jumped.  I kept circling the flag pole faster and faster…so fast that I couldn’t stop…wrapping tighter & tighter,  I finally stopped when I got tangled in the rope and my face hit the pole  …….YA…true story..  I always look back and try to figure out WHAT THE HELL was I thinking, “hanging out” and jumping off platforms, and for what???? For WHO????  I actually do remember it clearly, it was to impress a certain someone….did it work, I’ll never tell, looking back….THAT WAS ONE of the DUMBEST things I did….I said ONE of…trust me, I have many more…  2nd dumbest thing I did, perm the back of my head....REALLY????

Until next time….. 

As I sit today on my sofa, sick with a cold, it made me think about a photo shoot I once did.   It was on a Sunday during the crazy gallery season in the middle of summer.  We were shooting a publicity and Advertising gallery at Smashbox Studios in Hollywood.  The day was perfect, all the actors were on time, the sets were amazing, we were taking fantastic photos….it was a really GREAT day….and THEN ….it happened…I bit into a piece of bread (I know …Carbs) and my tooth broke off…..YEAH…..my tooth broke off.    There I was looking like an ETT-o-lantern…  oh this is NOT a good thing.  What am I going to do….the pain was excruciating but even worse…I looked HORRIBLE!  I quickly called my dentist (who by the way was surfing in Malibu) told him of my situation and he said he’d meet me at the dentist office in 45 minutes….HOW PERFECT IS THIS.  I called lunch, told my PA what had happened and that I’d be back before lunch was over….nobody would even know….IT’S PERFECT!  I quickly drove to the valley (15 minutes away for those who are not familiar with Los Angeles) in record timing, my dentist and I arrived at the same time, I quickly sit in the chair and within 30 minutes my tooth was back in my mouth and I was heading back to Smashbox Studios.  I arrive just in time to put the actors back through the works to finish the day......SUCCESS!  Nobody  was the wiser and the SHOW WENT ON….well, kind of, I forgot to mention to my PA that he should NOT TELL everyone that my tooth fell out of my mouth..…

Until next time….  

The things we take for granted…

Since I just shared a story while I was in Morocco, I will share with you something that hit me hard and till this day has stayed with me.  During our day off from shooting in the Desert, we decided to go into town and look at the shops.  While walking through the narrow streets I noticed this little girl following us.  She couldn’t be any older than 7 years old, beautiful big eyes, curly hair …she had the most angelic face that made me (Snow Miser) melt.  She followed us for a good portion of the day and always stayed a few feet away… we smiled at each other, as we had language barriers (Morocco is a French and Arabic speaking country, incase you were wondering).  Towards the end of the day I looked at her and offered what I had in my back pack …a chocolate bar…. she looked at me, smiled, snatched it out of my hand and RAN faster then Mercury, the messenger of the Gods.  She ran so fast I swear I saw a wind gust trail behind her….. To my shock and horror out from the doors and alleyways spill out roughly 10 kids, about the same age, and begin to run after her.  They continue to chase her throughout the crowded streets as she screams holding on to the candy bar I gave her.  There I was, mouth open, I could not believe that she was being chased for a candy bar…. after I left, all I could hope is that she was okay…. I felt horrible thinking that I put this poor little girl in danger.  As we drove away I did see her and she was fine, but the vision of her, running and screaming, still remains in my head today… what could I do???

There was so much that I wanted to do for her but never got the chance to do it…. So I did the next best thing…. I began to donate to children’s charity’s.... so, take a few moments and look around. Then donate to your favorite children’s charity…if you don’t have one let me know I will give you a few that are near and dear to me. 

Until next time

Post Easter and Just in time for Gaga......JUDAS, JUDAS, JUDAS

There I was in Quarzazate, Morocco (the door to the Sahara Desert) the sand storms were blowing through and the hotel front desk instructs us NOT to open the glass doors that lead outside…why not I ask? They tell me scorpions will come in. …Well okay then…. KILL ME NOW!  Then they tell us to take the sheets off the bed before getting in….  Why, I ask?  Because their may be scorpions in your bed….YAY!  I quickly learn how to sleep standing up in the bathtub filled with water…..I try to get some sleep….CLEARLY that didn’t work.

The next day, tired and hotter then Ricky Martin on Miami beach we head to set.  The set we are shooting at is a biblical movie with Jesus and Judas (the characters not the real people – I’m not that old). I quickly hired a private Roman Soldier to walk with me and keep me shaded at all times.....as you can see he did NOT know how to keep me shaded....I fed him to the lions.  It was so bloody hot that I was practically going to pass out…I’m not kidding it was over 110 degrees every single day!  While waiting for talent to arrive, I decide to take a rest and get gently fanned …What?  Don’t judge!  

 While getting fanned, I hear a crewmember walking towards me.   Before I could get up, in walks that crew member, and sees me laying there….FINE.  It’s not like I was wearing a loincloth or my cheerleading outfit.  I said hi, I’m Ettore, he says hi, I’m Frank…blah blah blah…yadda yadda yadda..,,we exchange a few words and then the conversation BEGINS.  He asks me how I like the script etc. etc?  I, of course, being raised a good Catholic (except for the time that I got caught – well never mind, that’s a different story) had a few things to say about the location of where Judas betrayed Jesus….was it the Garden of Olives, was it Mount Olives was it at The Olive Gardens? I insisted (and I do mean INSISTED) that it was MOUNT Olives not the Garden of Olives.  After a very long discussion of me telling him the story of Christ as well as Judas’s kiss of betrayal, amongst many other religious tidbits.   Another crewmember approach’s us and say’s..... “Father Frank, you are needed on set regarding a line in the script”  GULP! ....…Of all people to be debating and retelling the Bible to was not only a Father, but also the Father who executive produced the Movie! 

After a few hours Father Frank did come back and we finished our conversation.  I of course told him that when I return home I WILL look up my facts and get back to him…. we laughed…..then I went and had a smoke with Jesus and Judas….THAT was the best cigarette break I have EVER taken in my life…Me, Jesus and Judas talking shop (note: I’ve stopped smoking since  - they told me it’s not good for my heath and if you can’t trust Jesus who can you trust….Judas???)?

So what did I learn from all this?  Words are like pieces of sand…..they are still and lifeless until a gust of hot air blows them everywhere and above all...... Fashion is everything!!

Until next time….

Judas ...Judas...Judas...

I just found a shot of Morocco that I LOVE....it made me laugh out loud.....I promise to update you this weekend......I PROMISE.....here is a teaser, me, chaise lounge, burly man fanning me, Jesus Christ & Judas,... :-)

Welcome to Ettoria: The World of Ettores' official blog

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog.

I've always been told that I "should write a book", or "I should write a comedy about my job" or that "I should jump off a building." So I decided to start a blog. The "jumping off a building" really wasn't for me. The interesting part is I've always wanted to write a blog, well not always, but rather recently and while working for a large corporation (The Mouse House) I wasn't really able to express myself (like Madonna) the way that I wanted to. REALLY??? Rolling your eyes??? I did edit myself, Kinda of, okay just a little, alright maybe just a very small bit...but none-the-less I was edited! So now that my lips have been unsealed like the tombs of the Ancient Pharoahs you will be in for a treat.

I want to bring my photos to life so that you'll be able to enjoy the moment just as I did. Like the time an actress, while I put out my hand to say hello screams 'GET HIM AWAY FROM ME" and runs away in her fairy costume (coo koo), or when an actor wanted to know if I will pay for the porn that he downloaded in his room (ummmm okay?), or the time that a llama spit in my mouth, or when I said, "I'm really thirsty" and behold an actor ran to the craft service truck to get me water because I was working and he was not. I have so many stories to tell you, and by all means, if you have any questions please ask. I will do my best to answer them

Remember, ALWAYS be kind, ALWAYS have fun, ALWAYS laugh!

I need to run now, as I type Bruce Baily, my oldest basset is howling at me because he wants a snack!

Remember, life is too short NOT too have fun!